Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
