dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
