I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
