we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
