You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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