Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize