I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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