The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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