does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
