FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
