Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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