I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
