So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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