I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
