this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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