Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
