youre lurking in front of me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
