Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
