dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize