I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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