i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
