chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
