I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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