Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
