Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
