paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
