Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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