Dual....:-)
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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