I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
