Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize