I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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