If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
