Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
