I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
