i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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