I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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