Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you win again, gameday.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
