I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
