You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
