wrigley field is MILF paradise
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
