What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
