Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize