hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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