I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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