This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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