So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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