Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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