Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
