and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
