i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
