I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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