Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
