he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
