marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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