He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
