So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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