I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
