Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
