All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
