why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
