none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
