you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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