kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
