let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
if only i could text you this smell
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
