I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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