Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
