you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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