He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
