I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
