i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
