omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
